Friday, November 16, 2012

This is why I've been a little absent...

So, I almost didn't post this. I'm thoroughly embarrassed. I'm feeling completely incompetent. I was way happy this morning, feeling great, feeling healthier and skinnier then I did last week... then I stepped on the scale. And my emotions plummeted.

I wasn't going to post, because today I weigh 164. I don't know the tenth after the point, I didn't look. When I started this blog I was at 165, I think... maybe a little less. I'm beyond frustrated.

I can't run because of my hip, and I feel like nothing else is working. Since my Half Marathon I have been slowly, but steadily gaining weight. I absolutely refuse to see 165 again! I will not see that number EVER again! I want to sit here and cry my heart out because of the frustration I feel. Going back over my food log this last week... the only thing that is holding me back, is portion control. One sucker, isn't going to make me gain weight. Two Hershey kisses are not going to make me gain weight... But six slices of Tombstone Frozen Pizza will... three bowls of soup will... I could keep going, but I think you get the point. We have pizza once a week, that's not bad. In fact, my super fit healthy personal trainer mom thinks pizza night is awesome. But lately, it's been more then once. Lately, I haven't been watching my portions as much, or at all.

I'm sick and tired of being over weight.

I'm sick and tired of crying when I see the scale.

I'm sick and tired of dreading the scale!

I will not be weighing next Friday. I'll probably still get on and rant how badly I want to step on that blasted piece of glass sitting under my bathroom sink, but I will not step on it. Not for two weeks. I need to readjust somethings and when I do step back on a scale... I WILL be a lower weight.

You might get sick of it, but I will be posting a Picture after EVERY workout over the next couple of weeks so you can see how hard I'm working. Accountability, right? You will see that I am sweating, that I am red faced, you will see that I am working HARD!

I will not go through a weight cycle again.

This. Ends. NOW!

Until Next Time,

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